just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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