So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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