i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
