so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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