So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
