I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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