I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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