I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
