Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
