They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
