I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
