if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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