Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
