If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
