i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
