8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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