My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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