IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
