What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
