this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
There's a naked man in my car right now.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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