I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
