We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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