Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
