we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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