Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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