I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
