This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
