lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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