I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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