I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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