Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
bring money and cleavage
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
