I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
