I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
