I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize