i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
this will be a night to untag.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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