his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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