Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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