We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
