it wasn't lemon gatorade
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
