Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
