yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
