you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The air was thick with penises
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
