my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
