YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
