fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
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