Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
