Sponge bath it is.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
