Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
