i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize