ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
