She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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