i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm jealous of your bromance
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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