I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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