Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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