whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Hippo gnu deer
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
