There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
