You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
