she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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