So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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