u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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