Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
