That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
