he wants to bone in the snuggie
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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